Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Association and Peer Pressure

We are have grown to become the people we are because of peer pressure and other influences both internal and external. So often we look at peer pressure as a negative and dismiss it when this works in our behavior. Those people who had faith in us during our formative years were also a form of peer pressure. Their belief in us often caused us to push ourselves to achieve more than we would have without.

We are so often conditioned to focus on the negative and to criticize. How often have you been offered unsolicited advise on what is wrong or on how your idea or business will not work? How often have you instead received suggestions instead on how you can make it better because the idea is sound.

We must always be aware of how these can influence us and seek out those who enable us - not to live down to our lowest base urges or to embrace excuses - rather we should seek to align ourselves with people who challenge us to realize our potential.

Sometimes the fact is we are our own worst enemy and set ourselves up for failure. How often have you made decisions out of fear which set in motion a series of events that eventually lead to your demise? How often have you gotten some level of success and thrown caution to the wind as a result again setting yourself us for failure?

Allow me to use an example: Received an unsolicited email not too long ago of a woman seeking someone to date. In this she stated I am an educated woman with a quick whit and sarcastic tongue seeking a serious committed relationship with a mature man who knows how to treat a woman. As I read it I thought how ironic - she is seeking someone to treat her with dignity and respect who will edify and add value to her and yet she is stating that she more often than not is disrespectful and devalues the person she is involved with and wondered am I the only person that sees the disconnect and double standard in the message. Yet that too is my point - we see this behavior too in society of people wanting thing from others they are not willing to give themselves.

My point in this is simple - see out people who aspire to help you reach your potential and with whom you can do the same. Often in life we are surround by people who mean well but who in reality are devaluing us in an effort to empower themselves and do not realize it. When someone comes with an idea ask yourself what suggestions can I offer that will add value instead of telling them what they are doing wrong. Offer ideas on new or innovative ways of doing things and treat them with the respect you would wish to see in return. When you have a problem (barring ethical or moral issues) instead of focusing on the negative ask yourself what positive things does this relationship bring to the table. Am I better off for having known this person?

As the saying goes any fool can criticize and more often than not most fools do.Be wise and instead of being another part of the problem become a contributing part of the solution and be known as a person who adds value instead of one that leaves a path of destruction where ever they go.

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