- Incorrect priorities - instant gratification, adoration and pleasure was more important than the commitment to his partner
- Instead of focusing on what he had - a loving wife and children the focus was on what he felt is was missing
- Breach of agreement - when the wedding took place certain promised were made which in business terms constituted a breach of agreement
- Not fulling grasping the nature of his position - what man people who seek positions of fame, prominence or influence forget is that these roles in life come with a price and one must be willing to accept that people will look to you as an example and that any mistake you make will be magnified for some to make themselves feel better by devaluing you and others because their faith in you and hopes of finally finding a worthy role model were destroyed
How could this have been avoided - what is the solution (note: this are only my opinions)?
- Focus on your goals - what is important and them ask yourself how this person or action moves you toward your aspiration (if they are a destructive influence remove yourself)
- If a person is a sex addict much like an alcoholic for some the only way to deal with the problem is never to put yourself in a position of temptation (like waling into a liquor store). In the case of a sex addict one would avoid being in situations alone with anyone other than your family.
- In business contracts are agreements stating the base line expectation which ideally your conduct will exceed such that the paperwork is redundant and never needed - same in a marriage - a person should strive to conduct themselves in such a way the agreement is never examined or brought into question
- Focus on what you have. Too often people complain about things that do not really matter and overlook what is important. Let me put it this way which person is more beneficial Person 1 - fun to be with, great at parties, says all of the right things in public, makes you laugh, great sex, is exciting, undependable, disrespects you , breaks commitments, complains about what you are not doing for them, is self absorbed, does nothing to help you and upon closer examination leaves a path of destruction behind them. Person 2 - Loyal, respects you, is willing to inconvenience themselves for you to have what you need, acts in your mutual best interests, keeps their obligations to the best of their ability, tries to take an active interest in what you are doing, edifies you where possible and always treats you will respect because they are interested in your well being vs what you can do for them.
I could go on however I think you get where I am going - the topic being discussed while never addressed directly to me is a matter of emotional maturity.
An underlying question that is not discussed but I will bring up is the self image of ethnic minorities - could it be possible that the actions were in part due to the fact on some level despite all of the hard work there was a feeling of being unworthy so instead of focusing on the root cause and resolving because they were unaware situations were created to self sabotage and make their life better match their self image - just a thought to ponder.
These are my thoughts - what are yours?
I will close with this thought:
- If you are a person lacking integriety the rules do not matter
- If you are a person of character the rules do not matter
The only difference between the two is in the first society will hold you accountable where as in the second you hold yourself