Lesson of the Day: Authentic Leadership

Of late have been doing a few posts that on teh surface appeared to be about personal relationships. That is part was done because most people can relate to them when they are worded in such a way as to make them personally identifiable. and relate-able.

I will expand on those posts I did here and on facebook using a personal story. Not that long ago I held an elected position. I was one of the people who developed the processes and criteria for that position. I presented my platform and my peer presented theirs. People also told me that they planned to vote for me. Come time I lost the election. Yet, how can you loose an election when people committed to vote for you unless they either misstated their intent or simply did not live up to their commitment?

When I lost I congratulated the winer and remained silent. There were people who came to me afterwards stating if that happened to them they would have made a loud noise regarding the outcome to which I responded - why? Had I behaved in that manner it would not have affected te outcome and would have sent the message that I disrespected the very process I helped to create. Later some of the people who did not vote for me approached me for help stating that the person they selected who told them what they wanted to hear was not living up to their commitment to them. My response was simply that I cannot help them because it is not my place or responsibility to do so and that they should hold the elected person accountable for living up to the expectations of their office. This was done because as a leader it is my responsibility even having lost the elections to help people understand they must accept the rewards and consequences of their decision so that next time out they will make a more educated choice. Sometimes when we attempt to make everything right or fix everything we do more damage then good. Ironically, over time many of those people ended up loosing their positions.

What did I do:

• Respected the process that was put in place
• Acknowledged and respected the choice of the constituents
• Held the people accountable to their choices

Too often people go for what they want to hear instead of listening for and doing what they need to for their own best interest. Also, people are shocked when they make those choices others accept them and all that the choice entails.

The lessons to be learned are:

• Listen carefully to what you are being told
• Observe the behavior of those making the commitments
• Always be consistent in what you promise to do
• Hold yourself and those connected to you accountable for their words and actions
• Education people but respect then enough to allow them to make their own choices
• Understand that you are not above the process (law)
• People's lives and business are not a game - do not play

Feel free to add anything else you feel of benefit.

Becoming the Man I Want (Book Review)

I would highly recommend anyone read this book. It is by my personal friend Chantell. Those of you who follow Tyler Perry may remember her from Madea goes to Jail, Madea’s Class Reunion and What’s Done in the Dark. 

Her family and I go way back when I was in corporate they were friends and when I left they supported me and some even became clients – they have been ever loyal and supportive and each are people of high integrity and fierce loyalty. 

This book deals with becoming the person you want to attract from a female standpoint among other issues like personal respect, insecurity, edification, loyalty, etc. She openly discusses the many mistakes she made and her own shortcomings and deals with the fact she so often asked of her partners things she was not willing to give and her own shortcomings. She wanted people to enable her to do what she wanted with no accountability and possed many hard questions. I recommend this book not only for females but for males only as the issues contained are universal.

“I am single, never been married, no kids and I am about to turn 40! WHY AM I NOT MARRIED!!! This makes no sense at all. One day I was watching Oprah and they talked about making a list of the things you want, see it and believe. I decided to make a list of all the things I wanted in a MAN. The more I wrote what I wanted in a man, the more I had to look at me. I found it was easy to say what I want in a man, but what would happen if I decided to “BECOME THE MAN I WANT”?” 

Chantell makes her home in Atlanta
Her phone and fax: 888-229-1722
Email: info@btmiw.com

I personally have read the book 3 times already and get something new and helpful each time. It goes to show that you never know what a person is thinking or going through unless they tell you as long as I knew her much of what she shared and was thinking I had no idea. Communication is truly becoming a lost art. She deal with issues like control, manipulation, deceipt, personal spirtuality and selfishness.

Why do I like this book simply (and yes I am bias because I like the respect the author and family that aside) it speaks to the heart of so many truths people avoid – she is saying here are my mistakes and here are the lessons I learned, here are some I am still learning, I am not there yet however I invite you to walk with me on my journey and use some of these tool to help you not repeat my mistakes. This book talks of character, forgiveness and self, of others and personal growth. It says honestly the first thing I must do before I ask something of anyone is take a good hard look at the person in the mirror and make sure I am willing  to do it myself now!

I hope you enjoy and get as much out of it as I have. In fact I enjoyed it so much I sent copies to family and people I respect and have plans at my mother’s request to get another copy to gift to my 14 year old sister.