How to Handle Toxic People By MNM

Toxic People Are All Around Us

Believe it or not, toxic people are all around you. You see them every day. You talk to them. You work with them. You're related to them. You may even live with them.

Toxic people are bad news. They can be annoying, obnoxious, irritating and depressing. They can dampen your spirits. They can ruin your reputation. They can get you fired from your job. They can destroy your relationships with spouses, lovers, relatives and friends. They can erode your self esteem.

They can create anxiety. They can drive you to bankruptcy. They can make your life miserable.

How do you recognize toxic people? Chances are if you've encountered a toxic person you immediately sensed their toxicity...even if you didn't call it that. Toxic people come in all ages, colors, shapes and sizes. Sometimes toxic people aren't immediately identifiable, but, over time, their true nature is inevitably revealed.

How to Recognize Toxic People

Following is a list of commonly encountered types of toxic people, with descriptions of their basic toxic characteristics.

The Psychopath: The Psychopath lacks empathy and sympathy, is completely devoid of a conscience, and derives pleasure from others' suffering.

The Sociopath: The Sociopath completely disregards the rights and feelings of others, and is incapable of experiencing remorse, shame or guilt.

The Pathological Liar: The Pathological Liar lacks the capacity to tell the truth-in fact, the pathological lacks the ability to even recognize the truth.

The Emotional Wreck: The Emotional Wreck is constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. This individual simply cannot keep it together.

The Putdown Artist: The Putdown Artist is constantly making others the butt of jokes in an attempt to deflect attention away from their own shortcomings.

The Hatemonger/Blamemonger: The Hatemonger/Blamemonger hates everyone who is nicer, smarter, richer, better connected or more successful than they are. The Hatemonger/Blamemonger blames every individual and every group of individuals that is different from them for all of their particular problems, as well as for everything the Hatemonger/Blamemonger believes is wrong with the world in general.

The Misogynist/Misandrist/Misanthrope: The Misogynist hates women. The Misandrist hates women. The Misanthrope hates ALL humans without regard to gender. The Misogynist/Misandrist/Misanthrope blames women, men or people in general for all of their problems and failures.

The World Class Jerk: The World Class Jerk is a classless, uncouth, foul-mouthed jackass who is universally offensive.

The Moocher: The Moocher constantly asks to borrow everything money to breath mints. The Moocher develops amnesia when it's time to pay back a loan, and is never able to reciprocate a favor.

The Downer: The Downer is always in a bad mood. In fact, The Downer takes great pains to maintain their bad mood and to broadcast it to anyone who will listen.

The Illwill Ambassador: The Illwill Ambassador seeks out bad news and rumors and works overtime to make sure no one misses out on their malevolent mudslinging.

The Instigator: The Instigator lives to create discord, hostility and strife. The Instigator actually nurtures confrontation.

The Bully: The Bully thrives on dominating and humiliating those they perceive as weaker than them.

The Master Manipulator: The Master Manipulator uses cunning, trickery and subterfuge to control victims.

The Blackmailer: The Blackmailer works hard to gain your trust so they can learn your secrets and weaknesses and exploit them when you cross them.

The Blabbermouth: The Blabbermouth tells everything they know--especially your personal business.

The Generally Malcontent: The Generally Malcontent finds dissatisfaction with everything and makes a point of never being happy...ever.

The Love Predator: The Love Predator pretends to be your friend, finds out all your businesses and uses it to try to get your spouse or lover into bed. The Love Predator doesn't actually want your spouse or lover; they want you to know they slept with (or could have slept with) your spouse or lover.

The Self-Destructor: The Self-Destructor eats too much, drinks too much, smokes too much and parties too much. The Self-Destructor is the embodiment of the word reckless.

How to Deal With Toxic People

To the extent that you can, avoid toxic people at all costs. If this is not possible, minimize your contact with them as much as possible.

When you do have to interact with toxic people, keep the conversation strictly business. Be polite and cordial, not overly friendly. Do not tell toxic people your personal business. Do not allow toxic people to tell you their personal business. When toxic people attempt to spread gossip, change the subject. If they persist, firmly tell them that you are not interested. If this does not work, simply walk away.

Never, ever express an opinion, reveal a weakness or discuss other people with toxic people. When toxic people ask you personal questions, politely decline to answer. Never introduce your spouse or lover to toxic people.

If you show no interest in their shenanigans and refuse to feed into their pathology, toxic people will soon lose interest in you and move on to more receptive potential victims.

How to Avoid Becoming A Toxic Person

Avoid engaging in the behaviors toxic people exhibit. If you find yourself unconsciously engaging in such behaviors and you are unable to stop doing so on your own, invest in some relevant self-help books and/or seek the assistance of a friend. If all else fails, seek professional help from a psychologist or social worker.

source: http://hubpages.com/hub/ToxicPeople

Abusive/Narcissistic/Negative/Toxic People and Relationships

They paint this picture and tell you what you want to hear:

Once they get what they want from you because they are selfish, entitled and self important thinking they are owed or somehow better than they give you this instead:












Here are some of the reasons:



















Just remember










Also for those of you in those relationships - leave







Tried to make this partially entertaining but I hope the message is not lost

My thoughts about Tiger Woods

So many are discussing all of the circumstances around his actions of late and to me at least the core issues are not being discussed or at least not the ones I think should be:

• Incorrect priorities - instant gratification, adoration and pleasure was more important than the commitment to his partner
• Instead of focusing on what he had - a loving wife and children the focus was on what he felt is was missing
• Breach of agreement - when the wedding took place certain promised were made which in business terms constituted a breach of agreement
• Not fulling grasping the nature of his position - what man people who seek positions of fame, prominence or influence forget is that these roles in life come with a price and one must be willing to accept that people will look to you as an example and that any mistake you make will be magnified for some to make themselves feel better by devaluing you and others because their faith in you and hopes of finally finding a worthy role model were destroyed

How could this have been avoided - what is the solution (note: this are only my opinions)?

• Focus on your goals - what is important and them ask yourself how this person or action moves you toward your aspiration (if they are a destructive influence remove yourself)
• If a person is a sex addict much like an alcoholic for some the only way to deal with the problem is never to put yourself in a position of temptation (like waling into a liquor store). In the case of a sex addict one would avoid being in situations alone with anyone other than your family.
• In business contracts are agreements stating the base line expectation which ideally your conduct will exceed such that the paperwork is redundant and never needed - same in a marriage - a person should strive to conduct themselves in such a way the agreement is never examined or brought into question
• Focus on what you have. Too often people complain about things that do not really matter and overlook what is important. Let me put it this way which person is more beneficial Person 1 - fun to be with, great at parties, says all of the right things in public, makes you laugh, great sex, is exciting, undependable, disrespects you , breaks commitments, complains about what you are not doing for them, is self absorbed, does nothing to help you and upon closer examination leaves a path of destruction behind them. Person 2 - Loyal, respects you, is willing to inconvenience themselves for you to have what you need, acts in your mutual best interests, keeps their obligations to the best of their ability, tries to take an active interest in what you are doing, edifies you where possible and always treats you will respect because they are interested in your well being vs what you can do for them.

I could go on however I think you get where I am going - the topic being discussed while never addressed directly to me is a matter of emotional maturity.



An underlying question that is not discussed but I will bring up is the self image of ethnic minorities - could it be possible that the actions were in part due to the fact on some level despite all of the hard work there was a feeling of being unworthy so instead of focusing on the root cause and resolving because they were unaware situations were created to self sabotage and make their life better match their self image - just a thought to ponder.


These are my thoughts - what are yours?

I will close with this thought:

1. If you are a person lacking integriety the rules do not matter
2. If you are a person of character the rules do not matter

The only difference between the two is in the first society will hold you accountable where as in the second you hold yourself

Systemic Bias (Do you know what you think you know?)

Society conditions people whether they believe it or not. Sometimes this conditioning is positive and sometimes it is negative. I have posted some pictures I would like to know which country do you think it is?

• Did you guess South Africa?

Too often people take anecdotal information - take from it only the parts that support the assumptions they have made and then build elaborate constructs which are at best flawed and often dead wrong. These often elaborate exercises in cognitive dissonance without researching the facts as a result making erroneous decisions based on inaccurate information is behavior that should be stopped.