Lesson of the Day: Authentic Leadership

Of late have been doing a few posts that on teh surface appeared to be about personal relationships. That is part was done because most people can relate to them when they are worded in such a way as to make them personally identifiable. and relate-able.

I will expand on those posts I did here and on facebook using a personal story. Not that long ago I held an elected position. I was one of the people who developed the processes and criteria for that position. I presented my platform and my peer presented theirs. People also told me that they planned to vote for me. Come time I lost the election. Yet, how can you loose an election when people committed to vote for you unless they either misstated their intent or simply did not live up to their commitment?

When I lost I congratulated the winer and remained silent. There were people who came to me afterwards stating if that happened to them they would have made a loud noise regarding the outcome to which I responded - why? Had I behaved in that manner it would not have affected te outcome and would have sent the message that I disrespected the very process I helped to create. Later some of the people who did not vote for me approached me for help stating that the person they selected who told them what they wanted to hear was not living up to their commitment to them. My response was simply that I cannot help them because it is not my place or responsibility to do so and that they should hold the elected person accountable for living up to the expectations of their office. This was done because as a leader it is my responsibility even having lost the elections to help people understand they must accept the rewards and consequences of their decision so that next time out they will make a more educated choice. Sometimes when we attempt to make everything right or fix everything we do more damage then good. Ironically, over time many of those people ended up loosing their positions.

What did I do:

• Respected the process that was put in place
• Acknowledged and respected the choice of the constituents
• Held the people accountable to their choices

Too often people go for what they want to hear instead of listening for and doing what they need to for their own best interest. Also, people are shocked when they make those choices others accept them and all that the choice entails.

The lessons to be learned are:

• Listen carefully to what you are being told
• Observe the behavior of those making the commitments
• Always be consistent in what you promise to do
• Hold yourself and those connected to you accountable for their words and actions
• Education people but respect then enough to allow them to make their own choices
• Understand that you are not above the process (law)
• People's lives and business are not a game - do not play

Feel free to add anything else you feel of benefit.

What is Respect?

This is an abused and often misunderstood word. Often people confuse respect with conformity. Allow me to explain - too often than not when people say they respect you what they mean is the like how much to conform to their ideals and ways of doing things - they do not really accept you they in fact only appreciate the efforts you are making to please them so it is a selfish statement depending on how it is used and by whom.

What is respect then - in its simple terms it is acceptance of others and yet before a person can accept others they must be willing to make peace with and accept themselves. Allow me to use some examples:

• Did you know in many Asian cultures it is customary to use the family name first and the given name second?
• Did you know historically in European cultures the middle name was not given to you at birth but was bestowed on you based on an attribute you were thought to personify at your baptism?
• Did you know in Indian culture you tribal name was given to you after your ceremony of passing and accepted into the tribe and that to many native American is an insulting term many prefer instead to be called first people?
• Did you know that in African culture many people (like Irish clans, first people and so many others) are divided into tribes and that like European have some that are considered Royal or Noble lineage?

Now let me ask some other questions:

Do you show enough respect to learn basic words in the native languages of others if nothing else at least how to properly say the name of then country?

• Germany - Deutschland
• Brazil - Brasil
• Japan - nihon or nippon
• China - zhōng guó
• Spain - España

Well you get the idea - so here is the million dollar question - are you truly treating people with or respecting them or rather are you merely telling them conform to my expectations of you because I am selfish, opinionated, narrow and close minded to attempt to understand you?

Additionally if you make no effort to understand and respect them why are you shocked when no one reciprocates and respects you?

I will close with these thoughts:

• Respect - to hold in esteem or honor, to show regard or consideration for, to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with, to relate or have reference to.
• Conformity - compliance or acquiescence and action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc

Are you accepting them and working to understand who they are and what makes them unique and special or are you instead attempting to make others you you with accept yours as the only true and correct way or thinking, living, acting and existing?

So how does this apply to business?

• As a business owner are you listening to and accepting what your clients and customers are telling you they need or are you attempting to force them to conform you your expectations and ways of doing things then ending up disappointed when they show you neither respect or loyalty?
• Does your business exist to provide a service to your clients and customers or do you believe your clients and customers exist to service you?

In short - do you respect them?

• What do you think?

Systemic Bias (Do you know what you think you know?)

Society conditions people whether they believe it or not. Sometimes this conditioning is positive and sometimes it is negative. I have posted some pictures I would like to know which country do you think it is?

• Did you guess South Africa?

Too often people take anecdotal information - take from it only the parts that support the assumptions they have made and then build elaborate constructs which are at best flawed and often dead wrong. These often elaborate exercises in cognitive dissonance without researching the facts as a result making erroneous decisions based on inaccurate information is behavior that should be stopped.

Business, Fidelity, Sex and Strategy

What do:

• Tiger Woods
• Enron
• Worldcom
• AIG
• GM
• Chrysler

all have in common (this may take a while and is a long post and near the end I hope I have pulled it all together and would like to know your thoughts.)

Sex - so often the focus of many and for some a goal and a mean unto itself. Some would argue it is a powerful driving force and the reason many things happen in this society, some an evil and still others nothing more than a powerful tool designed to allow our species to survive via reproduction. BTW - I will add this personal editorial - I do not believe in race as it is often misused in our society because it implies various species and in nature different species cannot reproduce a Homosapian can not breed with a monkey or horse or bear because they are not the same species, people regardless of ethnic group are all members of the same species.

Ok, back to point - there has been much discussion of late on infidelity and sex in the media having listened and read so many comments I felt the need to comment. Growing up often I felt something was wrong with me because I did not have the same drive or libido of most and then it occurred to me that there was nothing wrong with me rather that as people we each are unique and there are people with whom sex or the urges is a focus of their life there are others with whom it matters little. This is no different than the fact I tend to be very analytical in my thoughts and approaches while there are some are more emotionally centered. No one is right and we should not try to change who we are to fit some preconceived mold of what others think we are.

Lets look at sex and fidelity and then tie it to business. Sex is a natural part of the human condition a drive and yet as people we have the intellect to make (albeit not without shortcoming or occasional failures) the ability to decide the people we will engage. it is a tool that while intended to continue our species also can either support, enhance and build trust or abused can decimate those same characteristic in a relationship. For some it is am outward expression of a person's feelings for their partner and for others it is a tool used simply for self gratification and its use is defined by the dominate characteristics of the people using it. That said lets explore this - often people put themselves in positions of high risk some knowingly because their thoughts are only of self gratification with no regard to the long term consequence or how their actions may affect the people involved with them on an intimate level (not to be confused with an assumed sexual involvement). Unless specified otherwise most people assume relationships to be exclusive and to become involved with others sexually is a violation of the trust placed in you as well as your ability to keep you r commitment. Heck, fact is for some their desire is the sex and short term gratification with little care of regard to the long term consequences it may have on the other people because it is not about the quality of the relationship but the quantity of the sexual encounters and the person who is the participant is not that important. For others it is a tool to they use (regardless of sex) to exploit and attempt to manipulate or control others. The first two focus on self and these with these in your mind I will transition to business.

Let me ask some rhetorical questions for you to consider:

• Would you buy a car from a dealer who promised you a certain make and model and them sold it to someone one repeatedly?
• Would to put your money in a bank who made a commitment to have your money available but each time to check the balance or tried to make a deposit or withdrawal found your funds were depleted because the bank thought a company trip or party was a better use of the money?
• Would you take on a business partner who make commitments to you but each time you looked to them to deliver on the commitments they made they failed to deliver and yet found plenty of time to play or knock off but never any time to work?
• Would you invest in an employee who thought as the emplyer it was your responbility to support with without them somehow contributing to the well being of the company?
• As a comporation would you retain a desity manager who thought their job was to discourage the development of introduction of new business who spending the company money to attend conferences and entertain themselves?

Entrepreneurs understand one thing almost universally - the easy past, the fun and entertaining one often is rarely the best. Conforming to the lowest common denominator instead of striving to be and achieve the best in the best mutual benefit or all involved is at best counter productive at worst mutually destructive. Regardless of the application in one's personal or business life character (not pleasure) is what we appreciate and respect. Consider this - in your life who stands out - those people who agreed with everything you said and gave you everything you wanted or those who did and acted in your best interest even if sometimes that meant depriving you of (per your preconception of the time of an experience). A child feels heat and wants to stick their hand in a fire the adult knows the damage that can cause depending on exposure and discourages the action and too often for this the adult is chastised. Taking a different example while not getting to deeply religious Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Mohammad, Sun Tzu, Martin Luther, The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, and many others are remember and respected not for their ability to conform and blend in to the status quo but are respected because they strive to achieve something more and did not subscribe to conventional wisdom.

• Can you name Romans who stood around in Christ's time telling him he was wrong?
• Can you name the people who told Steve Jobs Apple was a pipe dream would never work?
• Can you name the people who told Michael Dell the ideal will not work?
• Can you name the people who laughed at Bill Gates and Microsoft?
• Can you name the people who told Colin Powell he would never be a General?

Status quo is easy. Doing what everyone else does is easy. Following our instincts to think of self first with no regards to others is easy.

Let me close with this thoughts to tie it all together:

• What do you think would have occured with Enron if instead of tring to exploit their customers, employees and investors they asked - how would this benfit the company long term and will this decision contribute to or take aware from the reputation and financial stability of the company long term?
• What do you think would have happened with GM if they asked the question - how would this decision affect the company, it reputation and profitability and are we truly listening to and providing our customers with the goods and services they want?
• What do you think would have happened with AIG if they adopted the attitude of we exist to bring value to the clients who entrust their moneys with use and lived up to their vision: To be the world’s first-choice provider of insurance and financial services. We will create unmatched value for our customers, colleagues, business partners and shareholders as we contribute to the growth of sustainable, prosperous communities.

Some more thoughts to consider:

• How many times have to said something in anger and felt good at the moment only to realize in hindsight your action irreparably damaged and cost you a relationship?
• How many times have you looked at a bigger house or a car and wanted that even (while extreme) cursing or bad mouthing the person who had them not even knowing if they could afford them while forgetting about the fact your needs were taken care of?
• How many times have you begrudged the work that you had thinking this is beneath me or I am unhappy forgetting that you had your health, employment and the ability to do the work and earn some income (the dignity of honest labor)?

What do you think?

• Is a relationship about personal gratifacation and explotation regardless of the cost or damage to the others involved so long as it allows a person to derive personal short term benefit and pleasure or to bring mutual benefit with effort to everyone involved to varying degrees?
• Does a business exist to make money by exploit share holder, employees, and clients/customers or does it exist to create values, worth and wealth to varying degrees to all of this constituents?

Which is the the most constructive and sustainable?

The people of the lie (cognitive dissonance)

Sure we cover it up with fancy words and terms but the simple fact is this – people live in situations were they deny the truth and reality of a situation and are shocked when the laws that govern reality smack them in the face and they can no longer live in denial and must deal the negative consequences of having ignored the law instead of the positive rewards that would have come from following – that is cognitive dissonance which is the opposite of common sense – seeing what ought to be done and doing it. 

There is a saying that pride comes before the fall. Some people have developed such a sense of entitlement that they started believing their own hype. They actually thought that the universe revolved around them and they were the reason the business and world existed but that is not true – in fact that is so far from the truth – in fact it is the opposite. 

Lets look at the laws of nature and physics for the answer with a few questions

• Tree – 2/3rds of a true are not seen my the human eye – the root system
  
• Icebergs – 2/3s of the iceberg are below the water hidden
  
• Buildings – 1/3 of any building is cannot be inhabited by the owner but without the foundation, load bearing walls and structures, electrical and plumbing modern life would not be possible.
  
• Business – without consumers, customer or clients sourcing a product or service and paying for it a business would have no profits and would implode
  
• Does the government exist to make and support taxpayers or are the tax payers the ones who make government (from a financial standpoint) possible 
  
• What does it mean for a building (a person or process) to have (structual) integrity? 

Here is a harsh truth of the US – slavery was not a southern issue but a national. In the South a few owners had plantations and had manly slaves. The north lived in denial because each had one or two that lived in the house with them or ran their businesses. The original skilled labor of the country were the slaves (carpenters, masons, dry cleaners and the people that actually ran and made business possible) the owners were just that much like on a basketball or football team. Hence the Jim Crow and other laws without them the owners lacked the skills to compete fairly.

• So what lessons can we learn from the past?
  
• Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes?
  

Which type of person are you

• The one that people tell them what to believe without checking out for self?
  
• The one that reads and does not understand?
  
• The one that reads and understands but does not apply (for whatever reason)?
  
• The one that reads and understands and applies
  

And here are a few more things to consider

• When will be actually live up to our own preamble or the spirit of the constitution?
  
• Have you noticed God is mentioned no where in anything below – consider that for a moment also

The United States Constitution

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Contents

• Preamble
• Article 1 - The Legislative Branch
• Section 1 - The Legislature
• Section 2 - The House
• Section 3 - The Senate
• Section 4 - Elections, Meetings
• Section 5 - Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment
• Section 6 - Compensation
• Section 7 - Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidential Veto
• Section 8 - Powers of Congress
• Section 9 - Limits on Congress
• Section 10 - Powers Prohibited of States
• Article 2 - The Executive Branch
• Section 1 - The President
• Section 2 - Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, Pardon Power, Appointments
• Section 3 - State of the Union, Convening Congress
• Section 4 - Disqualification
• Article 3 - The Judicial Branch
• Section 1 - Judicial Powers
• Section 2 - Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdiction, Jury Trials
• Section 3 - Treason
• Article 4 - The States
• Section 1 - Each State to Honor All Others
• Section 2 - State Citizens, Extradition
• Section 3 - New States
• Section 4 - Republican Government
• Article 5 - Amendment
• Article 6 - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths
• Article 7 - Ratification
• Signatories
• Amendments
• Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression
• Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms
• Amendment 3 - Quartering of Soldiers
• Amendment 4 - Search and Seizure
• Amendment 5 - Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings
• Amendment 6 - Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses
• Amendment 7 - Trial by Jury in Civil Cases
• Amendment 8 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment
• Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitution
• Amendment 10 - Powers of the States and People
• Amendment 11 - Judicial Limits
• Amendment 12 - Choosing the President, Vice President
• Amendment 13 - Slavery Abolished
• Amendment 14 - Citizenship Rights
• Amendment 15 - Race No Bar to Vote
• Amendment 16 - Status of Income Tax Clarified
• Amendment 17 - Senators Elected by Popular Vote
• Amendment 18 - Liquor Abolished
• Amendment 19 - Women's Suffrage
• Amendment 20 - Presidential, Congressional Terms
• Amendment 21 - Amendment 18 Repealed
• Amendment 22 - Presidential Term Limits
• Amendment 23 - Presidential Vote for District of Columbia
• Amendment 24 - Poll Taxes Barred
• Amendment 25 - Presidential Disability and Succession
• Amendment 26 - Voting Age Set to 18 Years
• Amendment 27 - Limiting Congressional Pay Increases

Here is a bigger question – how can this still occur in the “modern and enlightened” world we all claim to live in

 

To Thine Own Self Be True

Yet here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard for shame!

The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,

And you are stay'd for.

There ... my blessing with thee!

And these few precepts in thy memory

Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,

Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,

Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;

But do not dull thy palm with entertainment

Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade.  Beware

Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,

Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;

Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,

But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;

For the apparel oft proclaims the man;

And they in France of the best rank and station

Are of a most select and generous chief in that.

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

      -- William Shakespeare